By Indu Balachandran/Deccan Herald
Bengaluru, March 13: Another Women’s Day just went past, and rose sellers everywhere made a killing in the stalk market. But I’m beginning to wonder whether, in these woke times, March 8th should be modified to read as WeMens Day to be more gender-inclusive. This way, the onus of rushing off to flower shops to get red roses won’t be on men alone.
While men’s empowerment groups, grateful for my suggestion, fight for this change in spelling, I’d like to send out a timely alert to all absent-minded guys who are husbands, friends who are boyfriends, children who are sons, siblings who are brothers, bosses who are men to remember not to forget to remember your women on March 8th.
My good friend Maddy told me that his wife complained that he had ruined her Women’s Day this year. “I’m not sure how I did that when I didn’t even know it was Women’s Day…” Now that somehow made the situation worse.
So Maddy decided to make up for this lapse the next day by going to the best florist in town, to do the rose ritual. “Say it with flowers!” said a huge banner outside. Maddy went in but after a long look at the prices, emerged with just a single rose. “Well, I am a man of few words”, was Maddy’s perfectly logical explanation.
Definition of Womanhood
But I would like to warn men that it won’t do at all to make wisecracks about us women on our special day. Not even like this one, from a well-respected elderly gentleman, who was the chief guest at a Women’s Day function some years ago. At the keynote address, he endeared himself to the audience when he said he’d make it really short and sweet. And then he began, “Women are, generally speaking…” And sat down.
Ok, we do speak and speak a lot, Mr Man, but what about you all when you are in that 99th Cricket pre-IPL special on TV, discussing whether CSK is set for its umpteenth win or be likely to age even further before the first ball is bowled? You guys never stop speaking either— and all at the same time too.
One thing Women’s Day does year after year, is make magazines go into overdrive celebrating the wonder of womanhood. But there’s something we have to admit about some glossy women’s magazines: they’re pretty schizophrenic. There’ll be one magazine saying how ridiculous it is to celebrate Women’sDay. While another will tell you every day is Women’s Day. There’ll be cover headlines leading to an insightful article telling you what low-ranking beasts some men are. Sitting right next to another that tells you how to attract men. Now this can be pretty foxing to gender experts, who have made an extensive study of women’s writings… trying to solve the eternal question: What do women want?
Ha ha! Keep figuring that one out, men!
The truth about women
Take my feisty friend Lily, who is anything but silly. While she was being wooed, she made things quite clear to her partner. “I always want to hear the truth about myself, Shanks” she said. “I love and respect honesty in men about women”. So he simply can’t understand why she is still so mad at him…All because he put down her true age in their Club’s notice board, when they asked for names and ages of those joining a trip to Ladakh.
So perplexed men try to cope by making up jokes about us multidimensional multifaceted, multilayered beings called women (which are wonderful words that mean: We’ve got you stumped with our contradictions.)
Meanwhile men, (secret readers of women’s magazines — perhaps even more than women themselves) continue to find insights into our real wants — so that they can figure out life’s most perplexing dilemma: Marry ‘em or stay single?
I thought I’d ask a couple of my guy friends. On one extreme was my bachelor pal Jaggu, who thinks he’s got all women figured out, and who never forgets Women’s Day, Friendship Day, or my Birthday to greet me with roses. “A man is incomplete till he’s married.” began Jaggu. “After that, he’s finished.”
At least my pal Maddy would be more positive, I thought, asking him the same question.
“Oh I definitely think every man should settle down with a wife. But preferably his own”.